blonde jokes...not trying to offend...just looking for a good laugh!!

[grimoneus]

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted.

*Claps*

[kaitlin317]

A blonde was speeding down the road in her car when she was pulled over by a policewoman, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver's license. After several minutes of rooting through her purse,the driver asked, "What does it look like?" "It's square and has your picture on it". the cop replied. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse and handed it to the cop. The blonde officer looked at the mirror and handed it back, saying"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

[PussyKat]

What do you call a blonde in a library?

Lost. 

[TopCat09]

What do you call a blonde in a library?

Lost. 

Thats funny. 

[grimoneus]

Thats funny. 

Indeed it is.

[KittiKat]

^Thanx guys! Being a showy kinda blonde, I get a lot of good blonde jokes hurled at me! In fact, I'm the personification (and that took two days to type!) of these jokes!

[lisa16]

 .a couple were in the process of painting their flat.they were getting married quite soon,so wanted it to look nice..
the blonde girl got up early one morning and started painting,she was really hot,sweaty,and dripping with perspiration...whew...
her boyfriend woke up and  discovered his girlfriend was very busy..
he commented on her clothes..he asked with a puzzled look on his face''why are you wearing two coats?''she answered,''oh,just following insructions on the tin of paint!''he read them out,''put on two coats for a better result.''
he then    looked back at her,with no hope in his eyes..shook his head and said,''oh, i think i'll get a coffee.''    ''good job i love this girl.''he thought! 

[cat27]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[nicerack]

^Nice.

[nicerack]

A blonde was speeding down the road in her car when she was pulled over by a policewoman, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver's license. After several minutes of rooting through her purse,the driver asked, "What does it look like?" "It's square and has your picture on it". the cop replied. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse and handed it to the cop. The blonde officer looked at the mirror and handed it back, saying"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

I like.

[grimoneus]

 

A visual metaphor...Nice.

[TopCat09]

OK - I'M JUST GETTING ONE IN HERE FOR THE BLONDES -


 

BRILLIANT!   

[nicerack]

[STRICKEN11]

how do u drown a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottum of the pool