Cher's transgender son Chaz Bono was so desperate to become a man at the height of his past drug addiction problems, he contemplated faking his death and starting life anew as a guy.
Bono, who was born Chastity - Cher and Sonny Bono's daughter, recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to fulfill his dream of becoming a man, but he admits he once considered taking on a completely new identity.
During TV special Becoming Chaz, which debuted on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) on Tuesday, the former singer revealed he had become a pill-popping recluse after the cancer death of his lesbian lover - and he wanted to end his existence as a woman.
Bono recalls, "I thought about faking my own death just so I could do this (become a man) and no one would know. (My family) would know (about the gender reassignment surgery) but the public wouldn't."
When he eventually went public with his surgery plans, he admits he worried about the painkillers he'd have to take during the lengthy process.
He added, "I'm always afraid when I know I have to take painkillers because that's my drug of choice and there's always a risk of a relapse. I used drugs for about 10 years. It started when my girlfriend was dying. It started with taking her pain pills, not ones that she needed; she had moved way on at this point... She died a month before my 25th birthday."
"When she died that f**ked me up for a long time... (I was) a full-blown junkie. I stayed in my house and took pills."