In his Wednesday night performance of one-man show My Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option in Ohio, Sheen revealed he'd like to bed Macauley Culkin's ex, who is now reportedly dating Justin Timberlake, and make her one of his goddesses.
He told fans, "Mila Kunis. I mean, debate me, right? And here's the good news - my goddesses have already f***ing approved her... She's pre-approved."
And he wouldn't mind if she turned into a thief: "I would have great tolerance for many items missing provided it involves Mila f***ing Kunis. Who wouldn't? If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t because you can't pay attention to her, you're still f***ing winning. You're still winning at that moment.
"I have tremendous faith in the young Mila Kunis. I'm going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes, and I'm going to buy them all. And then she can come steal them! Super f***ing hot thief! Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t for you to come steal."
Sheen currently lives with "goddesses" Natalie Kenly and Bree Olson, a retired adult film star.
PopEater reports that Mila understands Charlie's humor, but is still pretty put off by the offer.
"Obviously Charlie wanted to name someone who would create publicity for his tour, but the thought of it grosses Mila out," a friend told the site.