'Celebrity Apprentice' Recap: The Women's Alliance Falters (Duh)
Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" challenges what we define as reality. To a man chained in a dark cave for all of his life, reality is darkness - it is not until he is freed that his perception of reality is changed. Now, imagine that instead of darkness, this prisoner was forced to watch women on reality TV.
Okay, so maybe I'm reaching, but the fact remains that women in reality television are generally presented as backstabbers that cannot get along. These women also jump at the chance to switch over to the men's team, if the opportunity presents itself. "Finally, I don't have to deal with those conniving bitches!" is the cry. We have all met toxic people like this, but the ratio of crazy and/or backstabbing women on reality TV is a little unnerving.
Well, The Celebrity Apprentice's Star Jones is not having it! It's time to represent strong women as people that can get along and work together! Star Jones did just that: working together with most of the women's team to throw teammate Lisa Rinna under the bus for arguments that arose last week. So much for that "women getting along" thing.
This week, the celebrities are tasked with creating a children's book featuring at least one celebrity character. Then, they must perform the book as a skit in front of judges and a child audience. I usually love it when competitive reality shows use children as judges, because they do not pull any punches and tell people exactly what they are thinking. However, the role of the children in his episode is greatly diminished; they are simply shown as audience members.
Neither team can decide on a project manager. Meat Loaf relents and finally steps up for the men's team - and then it was revealed that he's playing for a children's charity. Why the hesitation, dude?! This is right up your alley! Star Jones gives everyone "the look," and they begin to rally around Lisa Rinna and tell her to do it. Nene Leakes reveals: "We chose Lisa because we didn't think she would handle it, and it's best to get her out now." Um... Go team! The sad part? The team has Marlee Matlin, who has published several children's books.
The men get to work on their book. After being told by one of the judges to "not include rhymes unless they're perfect," songwriters John Rich and Mark McGrath take it as a challenge and go for it. The team crafts a story of "Little Jon" being an outcast at school. Jose Canseco argues about a part of the book mentioning that "nobody" talks to Little Jon, and nobody implies teachers - and that isn't right. The rest of the team reminds Jose that they are writing for five year-olds.
The women's side is hectic. Lisa Rinna lets the women hash out their ideas with little structure. Marlee offers an idea involving the deaf. Dionne Warwick says five year-olds aren't ready to deal with disabilities. Marlee gets really pissed off, and Dionne gets in a debate with her translator - who has to remind her that he's speaking for Marlee. Dionne gets the idea of a lion finding its roar... apparently. It looked like several people in the group worked towards the idea, but Dionne is taking credit. Of course, that idea has only been done a million times before - Don Jr. pretty much says "Hello? Wizard of Oz?" Then, before the play, Dionne and Star fight with the rest of the group to get their names on the front of the book. Star wrote the text, and Dionne is convinced she "conceived" it. Lisa, in a rare display of standing up for her decision, says the book will have the team's name and no one else's.
After the men's team is almost done preparing for the play, Meat Loaf realizes he gave the biggest part to the worst actor in the group: Jose Canseco. While everyone else has a line or two, Canseco has to remember half the book - and it rhymes, so he can't forget anything. His performance is stiff on stage and Meat Loaf doesn't present the book as he reads it to the children, but they do a good job.
The women's skit features creepy animal masks, and Lisa Rinna says all of the lines while she reads to book to the kids. The main problem with the women's book: the text is the book is way too small, especially in tandem with the huge illustrations.
The judges ultimately chose the men's team, and Meat Loaf cries like a baby. The women argue over whose fault it is. Marlee says it is Dionne's, because she isn't a team player. She also says doesn't understand why these women have attitude. After Donald Trump says it may be because they are big stars, Marlee explains that she doesn't understand why people like Dionne are stars, so she won't treat them as such. "She's a beautiful singer!" Trump explains. "I'm Deaf," is the reply. Oh... right.
Lisa takes Star and Dionne back into the board room. She plays the "I'm a nice person so I'm not gonna argue too much with these people" card, but the Don has none of it. Lisa, you're fired. The women's ploy to throw her under the bus worked - she was not ready to be project manager and it showed. However, they just as quickly evened the teams back up. They had momentum against a men's team with one less member - they threw away all of the money Rinna could have raised for future projects.
Do you think Donald Trump fired the right person? What do you think of the women's tactics?
Celebrity Apprentice airs on NBC Sunday nights, 9-11 PM.