I'm trying to decide what's worse about this week's episode of Cashmere Mafia: the awful malfunction that they tried to pass as Mia's wardrobe or the boring lack of any substantial content. Of course there was a lesbian make-out scene, which should make the gay community cheer in victory, but other than that nothing else really sparked interest.

Mia's first job as publisher is to fire the Director of Marketing, Grant. Maybe if we had been aware of who Grant is or had a chance to get to know him this might make for an interesting "crisis." However, as it stands we were just introduced to him so we really don't care. We learn (during the actual firing, which happened in front of a crowd at a gala) that he was the person who hired Mia years ago and served as her mentor.

Because Grant made a scene by yelling at Mia and telling her that everyone knows what an awful person she is to work for, the news makes a spectacle of her. This prompts her to do a one-eighty in the office, and she decides that she wants to be nicer. So she gives a corny smile to her poor, dowdy office assistant and agrees to let her help on their next big case. In two episodes she's gone from a happily engaged fiancé, to ruthless business woman, to soft-hearted, charitable boss. Wow, can we even keep up?

Caitlin is still trying to decide, "Am I gay or am I straight?" Her first scene is an awkward business meeting where they discuss the marketing of make-up, and she sits across the room making weird "googly" eyes at Alicia. She finally tells the other three girls that she is going on a date with a girl, and they just brush it off as another one of her curiosities. Mia and Zoe take that moment to reveal that they have both had make-out sessions with women. I guess Juliet is the only one who knows for sure which team she's batting for... at this moment at least.

Caitlin and Alicia spend their date at a dance club (here is where the lesbian make-out scene occurs), and out of the blue one of Caitlin's old boyfriends appears. He says that he is surprised she is gay, and when she tells him that she's not gay, Alicia gets an attitude and leaves the date early. Caitlin catches her the next day and tells her that she can't decide how she feels about the situation, and Alicia points out they've only known each other a week...take a chill pill!!

During a counseling session, in which Davis and Juliet are making a poor attempt at working out their problems, Davis accuses Juliet of being an "Ice Queen." Sorry Juliet, I have to take Davis' side on this one. She has such a lack of emotion that I want to pull her hair just to see her react! She decides that her threat to Davis about taking a lover was a vocal contract that she has to abide by (I could get into a lot of trouble with this warped rationalization), but she is too chicken to contact Bobby, the old business school friend that she would like to make good on her contract with. Caitlin contacts him and tells him there is a school reunion at a bar downtown, so when he shows up Juliet tells him that he's there under false pretenses and proceeds to tell him the truth.

I'm not sure why they chose Bill Sage to play the part of Bobby, but it was painful. I literally cringed when he tried to pull off flirting with Juliet and the so-called passionate kiss that he leaves Juliet with...yuck, that's all I can think of. Anyway, back to the story line: Juliet tells him she'll call him when she's ready, and the next day at work he sends her a bouquet of flowers, which makes her smile with high school anticipation.

Zoe is fighting with the neighborhood Super Mom this week. The velour-clad, stay-at-home mom takes Zoe's kids on a play date after school one day where they create a teddy bear wearing a Blue Tooth and repeating "I can't talk right now, I'm on a conference call" every time his hand is pressed. Zoe gets the point; this is how her kids see her. Zoe and her husband Eric are scheduled to do dinner with this neighbor and her husband, and of course Zoe gets stuck working late at the office. Conveniently, the neighbor's husband is also stuck in Boston so she and Eric decide to sit down for dinner while they wait for Zoe.

In a comical way, the neighbor propositions Eric by telling him that people who don't want to leave their marriages have the safest affairs. Attractive, isn't it? Zoe chooses this time to fly in the door and sees her hitting on him and sits through the rest of the uncomfortable dinner, during which the neighbor tells Eric she wants him to do the remodeling of her kitchen (he is an architect). Zoe and Eric argue when they get home because she doesn't want him to take the job (he confirms that the neighbor hit on him), and he tells her that he always steps back for her career and asks her to do the same thing for him. A very boring moment follows, and she agrees to do that by gazing at him adoringly and holding his hand.

I can't even decide where this show is going wrong, but it's going very wrong. The four main characters of the show, the actual Cashmere Mafia, are being played by very talented actresses, but the writing is making them look superficial and pretty much just silly. Parts of the plot are maybe relatable by a large portion of the female viewing audience, but they have to find a way to make us feel like we're not watching a strange parody of New York City living!

Recap by Amber DiNenna
Starpulse contributing writer