Part One: The Rat, The Alligator, and The Showmance Power Play

Previously on Big Brother: Howard and Candice tried to get Amanda out of the house, but logic was too much for the fragile brains of the houseguests. Howard was evicted during Racist #1’s HoH and Racist #2 was immediately made HoH. One guess who she targeted? Jessie stood up for herself and all the viewers who were sick of Amanda.

We flashback on GM’s ridiculous nomination speech where she uses every negative insult she knows can make it on television. (She’s the one who was fired for using the N word on the show, so we know she was saying “rat” but thinking something much worse.)“I tell it how it is.” –GM’s explanation. She’s a dummy, basically. Amanda and Judd immediately run into another room to laugh at the absurdity of the speech. Amanda does a great impression of GM that would be funny if she wasn’t egging her on to say nasty things. “Honey, I have thick skin like an alligator.”

I have tons of respect for Candice for surviving that house filled with monsters. GM calls Candice up for a meeting. “What more do you want to say to me? I don’t get it,” Candice mumbles under her breath. Yeah, you don’t get it Candice. You’re living with people who think it’s cool to call you a rat and then smile like they did nothing wrong. GM’s argument about why Candice is a rat translated into English: You fought with Helen and now you’re friends with her again? WTF? Gina Marie is not all there. More speculation about who MVP is. Amanda doesn’t believe for a second that America is voting because “nobody would vote for me to go on the block.” That only makes the truth sweeter.

“I’ve been getting out all the mean people in the house.” Says the girl who hasn’t won a single HoH, is now BFFs with Aaryn, and was single minded about getting out Howard. Amanda fervently denies that anybody could dislike her for any reason… right before the scene where she’s annoyed that Jessie sits next to McCrae. How dare she sit in the empty space in a crowded room! That bitch.This must be the most insane showmance fight since Rachel proclaimed that she IS Vegas.

THE SHOWMANCE POWER PLAY (Presented by Crazy and Lazy):

McCrae refuses to get out of his comfortable seat where that hussy, Jessie, has sat near him and taken out her RED nail polish like some sort of whore. Amanda beckons him, letting him know with a withering glare that sitting next to hussies is not going to be acceptable in their long, fruitful relationship. But when he does not heed her warning, she departs from the room.

Of course, she has to take a stand for what is right. And sitting next to Jessie is NOT RIGHT! McCrae, who clearly does not understand what a horrible thing he just did, proclaims that it’s “so high school.” Um, McCrae, high school is where all the best love stories come from. Just ask The CW. Amanda explains politely, with a blanket over her head, how EMBARRASSING it was when she had to COMPETE for his attention when that whore sat next to him. How can he not understand this? Why does he not want to make her more comfortable? McCrae says he doesn’t want to be on her leash? That bastard. He doesn’t understand real love.

Amanda utters the completely sane girlfriend line. “What are you thinking right now? You’re just sitting there not talking.”

“I’d to anything to scratch through the dry wall and get out of here.”

And That Is The Conclusion of The SHOWMANCE POWER PLAY. Stay tuned until next week when Amanda scratches her initials into McCrae’s back with a rusty nail so that nobody else can have him.

Part Two: You Need To Stop Your Dictatorship

MVP Nomination Reveal: The Emotionally Unstable Girlfriend, Amanda.

“WHY? It doesn’t make any sense.” - Amanda. This is after taking credit for all the previous evictions. Jessie is excited and McCrae smiles. Could this mean the end of the Queen of Mean? (Don’t get too hopeful here. Remember how stupid everybody else is.) Spencer and Judd are chosen as the other veto players. Aaryn is the host. Candice and Elissa laugh in a room alone, but Amanda enters and somber faces must be plastered on. Amanda thinks the MVP is Judd based on no evidence whatsoever. Amanda asks Judd to use the veto on her.

Judd quickly tells her, in his cute secret hiding place (which is in plain view in the living room), that he wants to use it on Jessie. When he sees her reaction he changes his answer to “I’m going to act like I’m using it on Jessie but I’m really using it on you.” Why would somebody do that? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Amanda asks Spencer to use the veto on her which he describes as “The Joker asking Batman for help.” In this analogy, he is Batman FYI. Yeah…Amanda asks GM to use veto on her.

GM is the only one who says yes right away. But Aaryn is NOT happy with that answer. She knows that she would go up as replacement. It’s the most astute observation in the whole episode. McCrae tells GM to keep the nominations the same to keep Aaryn on their side. But Amanda enters at the exact wrong time, uses circular logic, and then gets pissed and leaves.

McCrae: “Amanda thinks that everyone owes her something but in all actuality nobody owes her anything.” If only everybody else would figure that out. McCrae tries to use logic on Amanda but it only ends in her calling him a dictator.