Part One: A Nervous Mistake

Previously on Big Brother: The houseguests were reminded to expect the unexpected, Amanda was obsessed with Howard to an alarming degree, and Judd went the safe route by nominating Kaitlin and Aaryn.

Aaryn uses the word of the season (besides flabbergasted) “sketchy.” It’s sketchy that they have such poor command of the English language. Judd told Aaryn that she twists words in the nomination speech, but once she asks him about it, he backs out and lets her off easy. Aaryn cries. Too bad they didn’t bottle those tears. I’m sure some BB fans would use it to fend off racism.

Kaitlin has said “pawns go home all the time” way too often for somebody who has never watched the show before. Elissa is nervous because she hasn’t been called for MVP at the same time she usually does. Her nervousness is on her face, which makes people think she’s hiding something. Judd and Amanda badger her.Elissa, a much smarter player than some give her credit for, is afraid that if she doesn’t get MVP she’ll be “discarded” which is exactly what they’d do if she lost her MVP status. Amanda literally says that if Elissa doesn’t win MVP she’s no “use” to her anymore. Just in case you were wondering if Amanda is gross.The fact that Elissa’s alliance is so ready to backdoor her just proves how terrible they are at this game. You have a majority alliance and you’re going to sacrifice one of your numbers? Great game play.

Howard and Spencer talk about being outsider in the hopes of making an outsider alliance. This is a smart move, except he has the power players all wrong. He thinks that Amanda, Elissa, and Helen have all the power. Really, it’s all Amanda. Howard must have been watching the edit of the show if he thinks Helen is a power player.Howard tries to create this outside alliance with Spencer, Kaitlin, Judd, and Gina Marie. They’re saying all the right things, but in front of the wrong person. Judd is firmly with the other group and will destroy them from the insider.They name the alliance “The Grasshoppers” after one of Howard’s nonsensical rants.


Part Two: America’s MVP

The show makes it seem like Helen figured out the twist. Dear God this is not what happened. Andy is the one who kept saying it and she kept shooting it down. WHY is the show so hell bent on making her look like the mastermind?I appreciate that they had the houseguests basically explain how Aaryn and Kaitlin being on the block could make for a strange MVP nomination, just in case viewers are scratching their heads when it’s revealed. Which we should, because it wouldn’t make sense to the casual viewer. Judd wears the BEAR SHIRT to the MVP ceremony.

Elissa is the MVP nomination. She feels betrayed by her fellow houseguests, but she’s really been betrayed by America.Besides the nominees and Judd, Helen and McCrae are picked to play in the veto. The host is Andy aka Pee Wee Herman.Gina Marie goes to hug Elissa and she says “please stop” as she avoids her touch. It’s a thing of beauty. Elissa accuses GM of being MVP which is a belly laugh moment. GM tries to spell MVP in the DR and it’s embarrassing for her and us at home. Candice gives Elissa a pep talk, basically proving that she’s awesome.

Aaryn is freaked out that people will think she’s MVP and then vote her out. “Nobody would vote for me for MVP,” she says with a surprising amount of clarity.These people actually think that Elissa nominated herself. On Thursday’s live show, they should be forced to watch clips of themselves saying that so that they see how utterly stupid it is. Seriously, this may be the dumbest speculation I’ve ever seen. I might actually have become dumber just from watching it.