Okay, Boomer, now I'm just pissed. This episode of Battlestar Galactica, "Someone to Watch Over Me," proved to us once and for all the true nature of Boomer, which had previously been pretty murky due to her mistreatment at the hands of both humans and cylons, her traumatic murder and rebirth as a cylon, and her flip-flopping allegiances between New Caprica and the Cylon Civil War. All of those overwhelming experiences, coupled with the fact that the girl just can't seem to catch a break from either side, would frak with the head of anyone, biological or machine. Thus, I rooted for her, and hoped for her redemption. Boomer's assistance with Ellen's prison break seemed to suggest that she had finally come to terms with the woman she wanted to be: Sharon Valerii, Boomer, an officer in the Colonial Fleet, the lover of Galen Tyrol, Galactica as her home. Then this week, with a mind-bending twist of events cascading into the more and more horrible, Boomer became who she really is: Cavil's machine.

It's not clear to me what exactly Boomer plans to do with the kidnapped Hera--or if Athena will ever forgive Helo for his transgression in the locker room--but what is clear is that, for whatever reason, Cavil wanted Hera, and Ellen's escape was all part of his endgame to that effect. One thing I can't quite figure out is how Boomer found the Colonial Fleet in the first place, when taking Ellen back to Galactica, and why, if she could find it so easily, Cavil doesn't just swoop in and blast them all to kingdom come. All I can surmise is that Cavil plans to hold Hera hostage in exchange for the Final Five re-creating resurrection technology, so that he and his skinjob race can once again try to overwhelm and wipe out the humans. Cavil knows exactly how important the Colonials believe Hera to be, because of how they hid her existence from him (and everyone else, including Hera's parents). What's unclear is exactly how important Hera actually is. ...Except that she certainly has a knack with music transcription, of course.

Which brings us to our other plot of the week: Starbuck's origins. While the method and origin of her resurrection on Earth in a shiny new Viper remain unclear, this episode at least answered lingering questions about Daniel, the missing Number Eight, and his relation to Starbuck. The piano player being Starbuck's dad was telegraphed from a mile away, from the beginning of the episode, and my kneejerk reaction was to find it highly lame--why introduce this thirteenth cylon now, four episodes from the end, and why have it relate to Kara; why can't she just be special all on her own?--but by the end, with the chillingly excellent reveal of Kara's childhood piano song as the Final Five-activating All Along the Watchtower version, I was tentatively on board, especially since the piano player turned out to be a Ghost Dad and not a real, corporeal, "hey guess what the thirteenth cylon was some random dude in the Fleet all along, ha ha!" Leaving it all in Starbuck's head was really the only way that storyline was going to work. One question, though--Starbuck tells the incredulous Final Fivers that she's known that song since childhood, and it's Hera they're all interested in? Hera, who was on the ship when the music was playing before, and could ostensibly have recognized it and transcribed it from her freaky little cylon child brain? Why didn't anyone ask how Kara could possibly have known the song from childhood, and put together the pieces about Daniel? Musically gifted these Final Fivers may be, but in deductive reasoning they are heavily lacking.

Then there's Chief. I swear, if this guy doesn't give up all Dualla-style next week, it'll be a miracle. THIS POOR MAN. I don't think I've ever seen anything on television quite so devastating as Chief running desperately from room to room in his projected house, searching for Boomer and the child they had in their dreams together, and finding it all empty. In the end, Chief couldn't even project the right clothes--he was still wearing his orange deck suit. The fabrication, the fantasy, was all Boomer's, and whether her love for him is or isn't real, her betrayal of his feelings and trust spoke louder than any of the sweet moments they shared in the first season, before either of them knew what they were, back when they were allowed to just love each other. After Chief drew his line against the President and committed treason by breaking Boomer out of prison, Boomer in turn made her choice, and it wasn't Chief. Apparently just being the same now, both being cylons, isn't enough. Speaking of which, I was a touch annoyed that we went right into a scene where Boomer knew about Chief's cylonicity--I was hoping we'd get to see that reveal.

Lastly, there are the casualties of this episode: Athena, Helo, and Laura Roslin. Whether Athena and Helo will ever heal from the wounds Boomer caused them, I can't guess. To be fair to Helo, Athena and Boomer share the most similar personalities of all the Eights, being that Athena posed as Boomer, with Boomer's memories, for months on Caprica in order to seduce Helo. On the other hand... seriously, dude, you STILL don't know which is which?! It's been YEARS you've been married to this woman! Get the two of them straight! Also, it's not like he doesn't come into contact daily with tens, if not hundreds, of women who are identical to his wife, and he's never mistaken any of them for Athena. Probably a good rule of thumb for the future would be for Helo to consider that any Eight who is exhibiting behavior uncharacteristic of his wife PROBABLY ISN'T HER. Or maybe they can work out a password or something, so he doesn't accidentally frak any other sexually frustrated Eights who tie up Athena and pose as her to score some hot Helo time. Gosh, Helo. Just... not the brightest bulb in the Colonial crayon box. Also, Laura Roslin is dead, or something. Now that she and Adama have done the nasty I sort of don't care.

Oh, and: Ron Moore revisits his Star Trek roots and tosses the geeks some space-time technobabble, when Athena's FTL jump almost ripped Galactica apart! Thanks, Ron. Time dilation as a product of special relativity a few weeks ago was also a nice bone to throw at us. Much appreciated.

Favorite moment: Athena hobbling into the pilots' briefing room for Helo, spidery, like the chick from The Grudge, and then beating the crap out of him with her bare fists. Chilling, horrible, and awesome all at once.

Least favorite moment: Didn't have one. I liked ALL the moments. Probably because there was no Baltar, come to think of it.

Next week: I have no clue, beyond someone getting spaced, because the SciFi promo monkeys suck. Maybe I saw Anders in a goo bath? Tigh not allowing Adama to put Galactica out to pasture? Who even knows. Vaguery is the tool of cowards, SciFi promo monkeys!

Story by Meghan McCracken

Starpulse contributing writer