Tyler Perry's House of Payne Episode Guides
Step It Up
Curtis and Ella's niece comes to town for a scholarship interview, but her appearance and attitude hurt her chances of getting it. Aunt Ella and Janine help her work the judges, but it's them that end up learning a lesson. Meanwhile, Bart's obnoxious nephew hangs out at the firehouse and challenges Malik to a firefighter battle.
Ella is arrested in a case of mistaken identity. Meanwhile, Calvin has difficulty cramming for his mid-terms.
Janine's return causes Malik's classmates to tease him about her drug addiction. Malik sees C.J. and Curtis's disrespectful behavior toward his mother.
Head of the Class
Curtis and Ella decide to take an art class together and Jazmine runs for school president.
And Justice For All
Curtis tries to get out of jury duty. Meanwhile, Malik tries Internet dating.
Party Over Here!
Curtis, CJ and Calvin's friends want to throw Calvin a bachelor party.
The Buck Stops Here
At the firehouse the guys try to come up with fundraising ideas for a local charity and Jazmine gets some financial advice from Calvin.
We've Come This Far by Faith, Part 2
Calvin and Miranda try to overcome obstacles on their wedding day.
Wax On, Wax Off
Malik becomes obsessed with taking showers causing Ella to worry that he has OCD. Meanwhile, Curtis and the firehouse crew get ready for the annual inspection.
Bully and the Beast
Curtis tries to help Malik overcome a school bully. Problem is, she's an adopted girl, and her adoptive mother, Madea, is the source for the girl's obstinance.
The guys' objectification of women at the firehouse flusters Angel, who turns to Ella and Claretha for advice.
The Fast and the Furious
Curtis must take an online driving course after he gets a speeding ticket. Claretha and Ella clash over playing the lottery.
Sad, Sad Leroy Brown, Part 1
After a fire yields Mr. Brown's house unlivable, he moves in with the Payne family, but he soon emerges as an undesirable houseguest. Meanwhile, Calvin finds love in the arms of a con artist.
Curtis needs a colonoscopy, but he's nervous and wants to cancel it. He finally agrees, but after the doctor finds a polyp, Curtis becomes convinced he's going to die. Meanwhile, Calvin begins dating Karen, but Ella is concerned that he doesn't know about Karen's HIV status.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
Janine dates an ex-football star, and CJ goes out with Tanya. CJ starts to feel uncomfortable when Janine's date gives out lavish gifts to Malik and Jazmine. Meanwhile, Curtis develops a man crush on Janine's date.
Sad, Sad Leroy Brown, Part 2
Growing tired and annoyed of Brown's presence in his home, Curtis gets into a physical altercation with him, forcing Brown to stay even longer. Malik decides to get a tattoo, which proves to be a bad decision when it gets infected.
You Big Dummy
Janine fails to tell C.J. when she takes the children on an impromptu trip to an amusement park. Calvin dates Tracie, despite C.J.'s feelings for her.
Cracking Under Pressure
CJ's wife Janine comes back into the Paynes' lives. She and her "friends" steal from the Payne household. Meanwhile, Calvin trains for a marathon.
Down and Outted
Curtis becomes concerned that his grandson is "turning gay" after he finds Malik playing around in a tutu. Meanwhile, CJ handles the fallout of discovering Janine in a crack house, but finds the task daunting.
Calvin tries to fix his money problems by selling counterfeit purses. Meanwhile, CJ suspects that Janine is cheating on him, but discovers that she has a crack addiction and is responsible for the house being burned down.
Now that their home is finally their own, Ella and Curtis decide to celebrate, ignoring C.J.'s constant phone calls. But their bliss soon ends when a dangerous robbery at C.J.'s apartment prompts Ella to invite them to move back in.
Pissed, Poor and Paranoid
Curtis teaches Malik and Jazmine a lesson in money management. CJ must fend off advances from his stalker.
Devil in a Blue Suit
Janine is starting to act strangely, leading everyone to think she may be using again even though she insists she isn't. When she shows up at home with a black eye, the family decides it's time to take action. Meanwhile, Malik is determined to pay for a new pair of sneakers with money from his new paper route. But his business sense leaves a lot of room for improvement.
I Keep Coming Up Short
Curtis and Ella have a romantic evening planned, but run into trouble when Curtis is unable to "perform." The guys at the firehouse all have advice and Claretha gives Ella some advice. Walter, finally gives Curtis some help. Meanwhile, CJ is trying to get the creditors off his back from all of Janine's debt.
Jazmine steals the class pet and hides it under her bed. CJ has a date with Nicole and leaves Calvin in charge of the kids.
Guys' Night Out, Girls' Night In
When Curtis, CJ and Calvin take Malik camping for male bonding, he does not return after gathering wood. Ella, Jazmine and Claretha enjoy a night at home.
Ella, Curtis, CJ and the kids head to Florida to visit relatives, leaving Calvin in charge of the house. Never one to turn down a money-making opportunity, Calvin enlists the help of his "homeboys" Pookie and Peanut to set up a house party. Calvin is called away to a fire in the midst of the party and must leave Pookie and Peanut in charge.
Whose Wedding is it Anyway
Ella gets recruited to help Miranda register for wedding gifts but ends up taking over everything. CJ and Janine go on an impromptu date.
Lost Without U
Curtis tries to get Ella to forgive him for pressing charges against Malik who now faces time in prison. Meanwhile, Nicole's jealousy leads to a breakup.
Paternity and Fraternity, Part 2
Trial by Fire, Part 1
Curtis' fire crew gets called to a major fire, which Calvin sees as a perfect opportunity to show he's more than just a volunteer. But his attempt to prove himself puts him and C.J. in an extremely dangerous situation. Meanwhile, Malik goes overboard trying to impress his new girlfriend, Taylor, with his coolness on the phone. But when she shows up for their date, his coolness freezes up, and she becomes the smooth operator.
Weeping May Endure For a Night
Mr. Brown shares his plans to turn his deceased father's home into an "old folks" home, much to the dismay of Curtis. Meanwhile, Calvin goes on a really disastrous date, but gets inspired to start a new online dating website.
Old School vs. New School
It's Malik's birthday and he's being a brat about the kind of party and gifts he wants.
What the ?
A woman CJ saved during a fire rescue insists on paying him back. Jazmine starts using bad language at home and school.
Curtis and Ella's relationship hits a bump when Ella claims that Curtis takes her for granted. Curtis learns his lesson when the always sassy Madea materializes in one of his dreams as his wife. Elsewhere, Malik takes up football in order to woo a cheerleader.
Stop Being All Funky
It's a Boy
While the fire crew attends to a traffic accident, Curtis must attend to a pregnant woman.
Calvin's friend returns home after a tour of duty in Iraq, but he is not in the moood for his surprise party. Malik must write an essay on his role model.
The Big Bang Theory
Janine's former drug dealer wants the money she owes threatens to come back and the harm the family if she doesn't pay. Curtis buys a handgun for safety against Ella's will. Meanwhile, Malik is dealing with another bully at school. When he finds Uncle Curtis' gun in the closet, he figures his problems are over.
To Have and to Hold
When Calvin wants to propose to Miranda, Jazmine loses the engagement ring. Dana and Delante want to keep their relationship a secret. Janine makes a surprise appearance.
Curtis is offered a fire chief job in Los Angeles, but Ella does not intend to move. Tayna's friend is too aggressive for C.J.
The men and women prepare for game night at the Payne house. Meanwhile, Ella's old college friend comes to visit.
Driving Me Crazy
Claretha is desperate to get her car back when it is stolen. Calvin baby-sits Miranda's nephew.
Piece of Mind
The Beat Down
Ella and Claretha help a fellow churchgoer, who has an abusive boyfriend. Curtis plans a bachelor party for Keenan.
All is not Lost
Miranda decides that she and Calvin need premarital counseling. Calvin has a plan he is sure will earn Miranda's undying trust and acceptance.
Dog Day Afternoon
Curtis unwittingly assists a bank robber when he's in the bank at the same time as the robber. Meanwhile, Malik must make a documentary for a school project.
The Last Supper
Miranda gets marital advice from her mother, Janine and Ella. Curtis, CJ and Miranda's father give Calvin advice on marriage.
Reunited and It Don't Feel Good
Ella and Curtis host a mixer the night before their college reunion and learn things about their college loves. CJ spends a night watching the children.
Why Can't We be Friends
Jazmine fears losing CJ to Nicole when Tiffany tells her that CJ is going to marry Nicole and move away just like her dad did when he got married. Meanwhile, Curtis and Malik bond while cleaning the attic.
Gone In 60 Seconds
Curtis comes home with a new motorcycle, but causes trouble when Malik and his friend take a joyride. Curtis presses charges causes Ella to kick him out of the house.
Ella has the flu, which means Curtis is in charge of the cleaning and cooking. Soon, he's also having to nurse Malik, C.J. and Janine after they catch Ella's bug. Jazmine, meanwhile, has been chosen to play the princess in her school play, but after her parents try to help her prepare, she winds up getting demoted. But Calvin has the perfect advice for her.
Father Knows Best
Janine's parents file for custody of Jazmine and Malik. Just after Curtis' firehouse wins an award for the fastest response time, their fastest truck is stolen.
Nicole and CJ's romantic date turns sour when an old friend of CJ's turns up causing Nicole to feel jealous. Curtis tests the children's ability to care for a dog.
CJ tries to find time for Nicole without neglecting the children. Jazmine hopes a new look will attract the attention of Malik's friend.
Just Say No
Fire and Desire
Ella is going through menopause and the entire household is suffering with her.
Trial By Fire, Part 3
Curtis and his crew try to rescue C.J. from a burning building. A smitten Malik becomes blind to Taylor's faults.
Meet the Lucases
A health scare makes the family realize how much they need each other. A visit from Miranda's parents sends Calvin into a panic.
Living With Liz
Curtis is unhappy when Liz moves in with the Paynes.
Don't Get It Twisted
After spending the night together, Janine and CJ get grilled by the rest of the family. CJ wants to let Janine down easy, not realizing that she's already starting to get involved with someone else. Curtis has his own marital problems when a guy named Tony becomes convinced that Curtis is having an affair with his wife.
When Jazmine gets a perfect score on an aptitude test, her teacher encourages CJ and Janine to send Jazmine to a school for gifted students.
Malik's friend convinces him to cut class to impress classmates. Peanut claims to own the barber shop where Calvin works.
The Wench Who Saved Christmas
Curtis has problems containing his excitement over a vacation he and Ella have planned to take to Hawaii. But with C.J.'s kids celebrating Christmas for the first time since their mom left, Ella decides to cancel the vacation, sending Curtis into a Scrooge-like tantrum that only Madea can snap.
It's Getting Hot in Here
CJ and Janine have a brief encounter after a wedding, leading to relationship complications.
Trial By Fire, Part 2
C.J. is trapped in a burning building. Malik's date with Taylor is threatened when she feuds with Jazmine.
Malik plans to score the numbers of the entire cheerleading squad by becoming a cheerleader himself.
How Do You Spell... It's All About Me
Ella secretly works with a personal trainer and Curtis gets jealous. Meanwhile, Jazmine wins a spelling bee.
Time to Clean House
Calvin moves in with his girlfriend. Jazmine and Malik help with Claretha's spring cleaning.
Can I Get a Witness?
Ella learns that she has a lump in her breast. Meanwhile, Calvin thinks he has to go into the witness protection program.
CJ must decide what to do with a bag of money he found, but doing the right thing with $50,000 is hard to do.
Out on a Limb
Ella and Claretha take Jazmine on a wilderness trek to help her earn a Girl Scout badge. Calvin looks for an engagement ring to give Miranda.
Paternity and Fraternity, Part 1
CJ discovers the shocking possibility that he may have another daughter besides Jazmine. And Malik causes concern in the household after he starts hanging out with the wrong crowd.
I Got the Hook Up
Now that he's divorced, CJ finds that everyone wants to set him up with a date. The tension between Calvin and Angel causes everyone to think they have feelings for each other. Meanwhile, a woman with HIV volunteers at the Help Center.
No Money, Mo'Problems
I Can Cry If I Want To
Curtis tries to celebrate his birthday as he's always done: by pretending he's young. But this year, his clothes won't fit right and it's clear that he's just older now. Then, CJ's house burns down and Curtis and Ella welcome his family into their house. But since it's Curtis's house, it's Curtis's rules.
No Payne, No Gain
Jazmine gets appendicitis and has to have surgery. After returning home, however, she takes advantage of everyone by making them wait on her hand and foot. Meanwhile, Curtis is determined to rid the station house of a pesky rat by any means possible, including hiring a "rat whisperer."
A House is Not a Home
C.J. finally finds an apartment that seems too good to be true, which is exactly what it turns out to be. Meanwhile, Ella has been offering assistance to Janine while keeping it a secret from the rest of the family. But Janine starts to take advantage of Ella's kindness.
Perfect Storm, The
There's a huge storm over Atlanta, and the firehouse is buzzing with calls for help. Meanwhile, Ella and Claretha go to pick up the kids from school, but CJ doesn't get their message and heads over to the school himself. Upon arriving, he finds out Ella, Claretha and the kids have already left, but he also meets assistant principal Nicole Jamieson. They feel an instant chemistry and decide to remain together to ride out the storm.
News of Janine's pregnancy emerges during a party. Curtis's cable goes out just before a boxing match.
Lost and Found
Curtis takes an anger management course and clashes with its flamboyant instructor. Meanwhile, Janine's crack addiction takes a turn for the worse.
We've Come This Far by Faith, Part 1
Calvin and Miranda try to overcome obstacles on their wedding day.
A Shock to the System
I Rest My Case
A judge sentences Malik and Kyle to prison time for their role in a motorcycle accident.
Janine's parents come to the Payne's house looking for her and CJ tells them about her personal issues.
Let's Get Ready to Rumble
Curtis must watch the children during Jazmine's slumber party. CJ and Janine get held up by a man robbing the barber shop.
Aches and Paynes
Calvin tries to prove his worth to Tracie, but she responds with shocking news. Meanwhile, Jazmine is plagued with a toothache, but it's like pulling teeth trying to get her to see a dentist.
There's No Place Like Home
Curtis's father visits so he can meet Calvin's fiancee. A man who has been unable to find his son since Hurricane Katrina finds comfort at the barbershop.
CJ's divorce from Janine becomes final and CJ's friends encourage him to enjoy being single. Meanwhile, Janine asks Ella for help starting her life over.
That Sounds Sweet
After selling cakes and cookies at the church bake sale, Ella decides to go into business. Malik must learn to play the saxophone for a talent show.
Sex, Lies and Videotapes
The FBI take over the Payne's house for a stakeout and Claretha and all her equipment come over to help with the case.
More Than Meets the Eye
CJ learns that his house burned down as a result of arson and that most of his bills -- most importantly, his home owners' insurance -- have not been paid in months.
Play on Playa
A relationship counselor is writing a book on how a stressful job can put pressure on a relationship. She perceives Calvin is under a lot of stress and invites him over to her house for dinner and a chance to delve into it more privately. But Calvin misreads her signals. Ella is heading out to a revival and leaves the kids in Curtis' care, but Curtis is not about to let anything interfere with his big poker party at the firehouse.
C.J. learns he was adopted. Meanwhile, Ella makes the family abstain from all electronic devices.
Crazy in Love
Curtis's old friend sets his sights on Claretha. C.J. is stalked by a woman he rescued.
The Big Test
After his first date with Nicole, C.J. looks to take their relationship to the next level and is unable to understand a promise she has made related to relationships. Meanwhile, with an assist from Malik, Jazmine cheats on a math test.
Can't Buy Me Love
When Calvin gets cold feet when he is ready to propose to Miranda, his friends offer to help.
Calvin finds out that he's graduating from college and tells everyone and later learns that the school made a mistake.
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