Two And A Half Men Episode Guides
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
While on his honeymoon with Rose, Charlie Harper's life ended when he slipped off the the platform and landed in front of an oncoming train in a Paris Metro station. His funeral is held in L.A.., where angry ex-girlfriends gather, not to celebrate his life, but to make sure he's truly dead. With Charlie no longer around, and money running out, the Malibu home must be sold. Warren Schmidt, a billionaire who made his fortune by selling his company to Microsoft, shows up on the patio after a failed suicide attempt prompted by a painful break up. Brokenhearted and alone. Alan takes a liking to him. After a few drinks and a night of sex with two girls who took pity on him, Warren decides to buy the house.
People Who Love Peepholes
Alan has bitten the bullet and moved into his mother's home as Walden moves into the Malibu house. When he realizes he can't do anything without his wife Bridgette, Walden invites Alan to hang out with him as he breaks into his former home to try and get her back. However, she's indeed done with their marriage. Grateful for Alan's support, Walden offers any favors in return. Embarrassed to be living with his mother, Alan asks to stay with him indefinitely, and Walden accepts.
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
The new living arrangements are in flux now that Bertha is living in Alan's old bedroom; however, there is showdown when he tries to move back in. Walden decides to take Bridgette on a date, but when he takes her to a fast food restaurant, Bridgette still believes Walden hasn't grown up - especially when he gets into a food fight with a little girl. As for Jake, his troubles in school continue, but when he finds out that Walden left school to make his millions (and now Billions), he decides to do the same.
Nine Magic Fingers
With Lyndsey back in Alan's life and Bertha having fun with a guy who has nine fingers, it seems like Walden is the only one who isn't having sex. That is, until Courtney comes back to the Malibu house and finds her way into Walden's bed.
Giant Cat Holding Churro
When Alan finds out that Lyndsey's past involves starring in a soft porn flick, he feels ashamed he's lived a prudish, boring life. Still wallowing over his breakup with Bridgette, Warren gets high on Bertha's pot brownies prompting him to party with an entire female volleyball team he's met on the beach. Alan, in need of some spice in his life, decides to join in the fun.
The Squat and The Hover
Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget and feels his life is not worth living. But when he and Alan got out for drinks, Walden meets a woman who reminds him of her. Alan tries to hit on her friend, but is unsuccessful.
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
When Alan finds out that Charlie kept a secret journal, he realizes he never really knew the emotional side to his brother. Walden takes on Evelyn as his interior designer. Jake has a crush on his tutor who has a crush on Walden.
Thank You For The Intercourse
When Walden's interior decorating involves giving away Charlie's piano to charity, Alan has an emotional breakdown that causes him to take on Charlie's characteristics. Walden takes a necessary step to get Alan the help he needs when he begins to believe he's actually his deceased brother.
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a lineup of challenges that could set him over the edge. But is everything happening to him real?
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Walter meets a beautiful woman at the supermarket. Through the encouragement of Jake, he asks her out, but still has qualms about officially going out in the dating scene. Alan is struggling to come up with money and decides to pawn some valuables.
What a Lovely Landing Strip
When Walden receives his divorce papers, he decides the time is right to start dating Zoey; however, Bridget has second thoughts, and tries to rekindle her romance with Walden just as he's trying to impress his new girlfriend.
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
When Walden's mother comes to visit, Alan suddenly finds himself smitten by her. Also, a secret about Walden's past comes out.
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Angry that Walden is seeing another woman, Bridget joins forces with his mother - both on his company's board of directors - and tries to vote him off as Chairman. Alan is brought on as a board member to to help out-vote them, and is propositioned by Robin in order to get him on their side.
The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack
Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's special brownies. However, in the midst of heightening sex life, Walden is introduced to Zoey's daughter and ex-husband.
A Possum on Chemo
Alan and Lyndsey decide to give their relationship another chance. Zooey convinces Walden to shave and get a hair cut.
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
Not In My Mouth
A near death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.
The War Against Gingivitis
Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
Why We Gave Up Women
After Alan suffers a minor heart attack, Charlie's ghost pays a visit to his hospital bedside.
The Straw In My Donut Hole
Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Jake graduates and now must decide what to do with his life.
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