Seinfeld Episode Guides
In order to have Chinese food delivered, Elaine has to pretend that a janitor's closet in the building across the street from hers is her apartment as it's in the delivery zone and her place is not. Kramer adopts a stretch of highway and George loses his keys and finds them at the bottom of a recently filled pothole. Jerry drops his new girlfriend's toothbrush in the toilet and doesn't tell her. He also won't kiss her because of it.
George decides that the space under his desk is the perfect place to nap. His boss comes in looking for him and decides to wait, so instead of getting caught, George quietly calls Jerry and has him call in a bomb threat. Kramer thinks that his gym's pool isn't spacious enough for his swimming needs so he starts swimming in the East River, with odorous results. Elaine complains about her sore back to her new boyfriend so he buys her a new mattress. Elaine, thinking it sends the wrong message, returns it to him but not before Kramer has left his scent on it. Jerry has un commissioned work done on his kitchen.
The Little Jerry
Kramer buys a rooster, thinking it is a chicken, and names it 'Little Jerry'. The rooster turns out to be beneficial to Jerry after he bounces a check at a local liquor store and has trouble paying it off. But the owner of the store turns out to run an underground cockfighting ring so Jerry is able to enter the rooster. 'Little Jerry' turns out to be a star fighter. Meanwhile, George has to visit a woman's prison as part of his role in Susan's foundation and gets excited by the idea of conjugal visits after meeting one of the inmates. Elaine starts dating a man with a shaved head and tries to convince him to grow back his hair. He agrees but discovers he is going bald in the process.
George finds himself becoming super intelligent after he has to abstain from sex due to his girlfriend's bout with mono. Elaine tries to use the technique to help her boyfriend doctor study for his medical exams but the process makes her progressively stupider. Jerry is set to perform at a high school career day but gets bumped. Later his agent gets him a two hour gig in front of the junior high school assembly but he doesn't know how to fill the time. Kramer responds to being thrown out of Monk's after lighting a cigar by turning his apartment into a cigar lounge, but the smoke has ill effects on his looks and he sues the tobacco company.
When Elaine fails to correct a co-worker who calls her Susie, things spiral out of control. The co-worker bad mouths Elaine to 'Susie' and then ends up insisting that 'Susie' be brought in front of Peterman with Elaine present. Elaine gets out of the situation but laments the situation to Jerry. Jerry has an encounter with an old foe, now a bookie, who called him 'a phoney'. The bookie ends up owing Jerry $100 on a basketball bet that Kramer made but can't pay him. Due to a number of accidents, the bookie ends up in Jerry's trunk overhearing Jerry and Elaine discuss 'eliminating' Susie. When Elaine pretends that 'Susie' has killed herself and has to speak at the wake, much to the confusion of her co-worker, the bookie accuses Jerry of murder. Peterman puts Elaine in charge of the foundation he is starting in memory of 'Susie'. Meanwhile, George tries to delay having his girlfriend break up with him as he wants to arrive at a ball with her.
The Andrea Doria
George is in the running for a great new apartment but learns that he may lose it to a survivor of the Andrea Doria shipwreck. He petitions the apartment board to hear the story of his life. Elaine goes on a blind date with a man who she soon learns is a bad 'breaker upper'. Jerry discovers bags of mail in his storage locker left there by Newman, however, when he learns that Newman is up for a transfer to Hawaii, he tries to help him deliver the mail. Kramer refuses to go to the doctor even though he is sick, so he goes to the vet with a dog and gets flu medication for the canine. Once he starts taking the medicine he exhibits dog like behavior.
The Summer of George
George gets three months severance pay from the Yankees and decides to make the best of it and live it up over the summer. Elaine makes an off-handed comment about a woman co-worker who doesn't move her arms when she walks but the other office workers perceive it as a cat fight. Elaine ends up having a real cat fight with Raquel Welch, who Kramer butted heads with while being a seat filler at the Tony Awards. Jerry starts dating a waitress but soon learns that she already has a boyfriend.
The Bizarro Jerry
Elaine starts dating a man who happens to have friends that are bizarre versions of Jerry, George and Kramer. Jerry starts dating a gorgeous woman but she has one draw back- man sized hands. George uses a picture of the beauty to get himself into an exclusive lounge where only top models hang out. Kramer uses the bathroom in an office building and emerges with a job there.
Kramer comes up with a scheme to extend the warranty on Jerry's broken stereo. While visiting a doctor for a rash, Elaine tries to look at her medical file, which gets her in trouble. Meanwhile, Jerry refuses to sign for a package that has been sent to him without a return address. His Uncle Leo ends up signing for it and Jerry discovers that the package is from Kramer, with his broken stereo inside and the package insured, thus covered by the post office. Elaine, still trying to gain access to her medical files, poses as Uncle Leo's nurse. George mistakenly receives a suggestive picture of the photo store clerk when he picks up his photos and returns the favor, thinking she is interested in him.
The Little Kicks
Elaine allows George to tag along to a party she is throwing at work, however he gets more than he bargained for after he sees her unique form of dancing and exclaims "Sweet Fancy Moses". Her employees suddenly seem to lose respect for her so Elaine blames George and forbids him from pursuing one of her employees that he thought was cute. The object of George's affection becomes fascinated by him because of his bad boy image. Meanwhile, Kramer and Kramer's new friend accompany Jerry to a film premiere where they proceed to video the film for bootlegging purposes. Kramer's friend is so pleased with the quality that he wants Jerry to video again but Jerry demands better equipment. George takes up the challenge but ends up getting arrested. Meanwhile, Elaine has used the video camera to see the truth about her dance abilities and befriends George again so that her employee no longer finds him desirable.
Jerry is excited at first about being number one on his girlfriend's speed dial but it doesn't turn out to be a good thing. Worried about the approaching millennium, Kramer decides to hold his New Years Party two years early. Meanwhile, George thinks he has found a better job with the Mets but he has to be fired by the Yankees first before he can accept the job. Elaine changes her allegiance to a different clothing store when she gets bad service at the one she usually shops at.
The Yada Yada
Jerry thinks that the only reason his dentist converted to Judaism is to be able to tell Jewish jokes. Elaine tries to help her married friends adopt a baby but ends up making the situation worse. Meanwhile, Kramer and his friend Mickey are set to go out on a blind date but neither can agree on which girl they want to go with. George has a new girlfriend who drives him crazy with her constant use of the phrase yada yada yada.
With Jerry still having money problems, his parents sell the Cadillac that Jerry gave them for $6000 and give the money to Jerry, hoping that he will make a career change. Meanwhile, Elaine discusses her stock options with George and buys his coffee, making George think she's sticking it to him. Elaine proceedes to hire Mr. Seinfeld so that he can help support Jerry but she ends up getting demoted when Peterman returns and she loses her stock options. Jerry ends up buying back the Cadillac for almost double what his parents sold it for. George starts spending copious amounts of money figuring for a large inheritance, but his parents start spending as well and decided to move to Florida. Kramer moves into the Costanza's house with his girlfriend, who has a strange post-coital habit of 'having the jimmy legs'. Strapped for cash in Florida, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac.
Kramer volunteers to help cook dinner for a Jewish singles function and tries to get Mr. Costanza to oversee the cooking when he learns of his past as a chef during the Korean War. Mr. Costanza refuses, however, because he experienced severe shell shock. Jerry starts dating a woman who has a mentor- a fact that he is fascinated with until he finds out that her mentor is dating his comic nemesis. Meanwhile, Elaine tries to get rid of an unruly employee but ends up promoting him instead.
George gets insulted by a co-worker and becomes obsessed with delivering the perfect comeback insult. Jerry buys a tennis racket from a supposed pro but later finds out that he is a phony. The man tries to bribe Jerry to keep quiet about his lack of skill, even offering up his wife. Elaine and Kramer pick video rentals based on a two different employees' 'picks' and Elaine develops a secret phone relationship with one of them, but ultimately finds out that he is a 15 year old kid. George ends up having to track the now ex co-worker down out of state and fails in his delivery of the comeback insult.
Jerry starts receiving royalty checks from a Japanese TV show that used a clip of him. The only problem is that each check is for a paltry 12 cents. The checks give Kramer and George an idea, however, to revive Jerry and George's 'show about nothing' and try to sell it to the Japanese station. Elaine deals with a new boyfriend that is obsessed with designer furniture and the song "Desperado".
The English Patient
Jerry heads to Florida to help his parents move and agrees to bring back some 'real Cubans' for Kramer's cigar guy. Jerry takes the request too literally and brings back actual Cuban people, who ironically end up being Dominican. While in Florida, Jerry is challenged by an 80 year old man in the gym to a weightlifting contest. The old man consistently throws out his back and seeks treatment in New York. Meanwhile, Kramer tries to find work for the Dominicans and George is fascinated by a man named Neil who a woman thinks George looks exactly like. Elaine loses a boyfriend and alienates her friends when she declares that she hates the movie 'The English Patient'.
George is on the quick road to recovery after Susan's death but her parents are inspired by a movie quote of Jerry's to start a foundation in her memory. Jerry breaks up with his current girlfriend and starts dating an old flame. He tries to figure out which 'break-up' story is most appealing to women- his or George's. Elaine gets in hot water when Peterman flees the country and leaves her in charge of the catalogue but she becomes inspired by a now confident Kramer, all due to his karate training, even if his fights are against children.
The Chicken Roaster
Jerry and Kramer switch apartments when Kramer can't sleep due to a neon sign promoting Kenny Rogers Roaster beaming into his bedroom. George is convinced that leaving a personal effect behind at a woman's apartment is the best way to ensure a second date but this gets Elaine into trouble when George leaves behind her fur hat that she had charged to her expense account. Once Kramer and Jerry have switched apartments, they seem to switch personalities as well.
The Muffin Tops
Elaine relays a 'million dollar idea' of selling only the tops of muffins to her old boss Mr. Lippman and is shocked when he steals her idea and opens up a muffin top bakery. Meanwhile, reacting to Peterman's refusal to share any of the biography profits with Kramer considering he used all of his stories, Kramer starts his own 'Peterman reality' bus tour. George agrees to watch a suitcase for a tourist, who never returns, so George starts to wear the man's clothes and starts up a relationship with the tourist director. He ends up getting traded to Tyler Chicken by his boss at the Yankees. Jerry starts shaving his chest to impress his new girlfriend.
The Van Buren Boys
Kramer has a run in with a street gang named the Van Buren Boys and only escapes unharmed when he mistakenly flashes them the appropriate secret gang sign. The gang even invite Kramer into their fold. Elaine, who is ghost writing Peterman's biography, wants to use Kramer's story about the gang as Peterman's stories are too boring for her. Peterman agrees and offers Kramer $750 for his life story. Kramer agrees until Elaine tells him that he can't tell his own stories anymore. George has to pick the recipient for the first scholarship awarded from Susan's Foundation and balks at all the super achiever applicants. He decides to go with an average Joe type applicant. Meanwhile, Jerry is dating a girl that no one seems to warm to so he flies his parents to New York to get their opinion.
The Soul Mate
George is worried that the lawyer at Susan's foundation thinks he killed Susan. He leaves a briefcase with a tape recorder in the room to uncover the truth but he retrieves it damaged and the tape recorder stopped. Kramer starts falling for Jerry's new girlfriend and unwisely turns to Newman for advice. Meanwhile, Elaine is sick of people telling her she should have a baby so she declares her desire for no children and ends up finding a man who wants to have a vasectomy for her.
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