Seinfeld Episode Guides
The Shower Head
When the shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with new low-flow models, Newman hatches a plan to obtain regular shower heads on the black market. Elaine has to undergo a physical prior to a business trip to Africa but her results indicate that she has opium in her system and she is consequently fired. She discovers the reason for her positive drug test and finds a donor to re-take the physical for her. George tells his parents that they should move to Florida; they are unresponsive to his suggestion until the Seinfelds try to dissuade them and that prompts the Costanzas to strongly consider it. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show which doesn't go over well with his family.
The Cadillac (Part 2)
Jerry's dad continues to have to defend his owning a new Cadillac and the means in which he got it. Elaine, now actively pursuing Jerry, calls him in Florida and wants to join him there. Susan becomes suspicious of George's intentions with Marisa Tomei and George ends up actually getting Marisa's the actress' phone number. Kramer continues his war with the cable guy which ends in Kramer being victorious. George finally has coffee with Marisa but it doesn't go as planned. Susan ends up thinking that George is having an affair with Elaine.
Kramer helps an old friend, Lloyd, who is recovering from a nervous breakdown. To help Lloyd's recovery, Jerry and the gang have to try and ultimately buy the Chinese gum that he has. Elaine is also put in an uncomfortable position when her button pops off and she exposes herself to both Lloyd and Kramer. George has to convince an old neighbor acquaintance of his that he himself is not on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
George tries everything, from smoking to pre-nup agreements, to stop Susan from wanting to marry him but it seems like he is stuck. The gang all want to be a part of the wedding but Susan nixes the idea on each account. Jerry thinks he has found the perfect woman who saves him from a being hit by a car after he learns that she likes all the same things that he does. Meanwhile, Kramer is obsessed with a bank teller's promise to pay $100 to any customer not greeted with 'hello'. George's marriage problem is finally solved when Susan falls ill and dies from licking too many cheap envelopes made with toxic glue.
When Elaine's preferred method of contraception is taken off the market, she hordes the last few sponges she has and becomes very selective of the men that she will potentially date. George creates problems between him and Jerry when he tells Susan one of Jerry's secrets. This reveal then leads George and Susan to have a fight about secrets which ends up with George telling Susan another one of Jerry's secrets. Meanwhile, Kramer causes a commotion at the AIDS walk when he won't wear the red ribbon.
The Friars Club
George's wedding to Susan is delayed again and he is secretly thrilled. George is also elated when Jerry starts dating Susan's best friend so they can double date together. Jerry borrows a Friar's Club blazer with hopes of gaining admittance to the Club but ends up losing the jacket. Elaine is suspicious of a new co-worker who proclaims to be deaf and Kramer tries to replicate Leonardo da Vinci's sleeping habits.
Still trying to find a way to postpone his engagement, George decides to help the security guard at Susan's uncle's store by buying him a stool but it ends badly. Elaine starts dating a conductor who insists that he be called "Maestro" and woos Elaine further by talking about the house he has in Tuscany and how there are no other houses to rent there. Jerry becomes obsessed with finding out whether or not that is the truth. Meanwhile, Kramer is dealing with the after effects of his hot coffee lawsuit.
The Secret Code
George is insistent about keeping his ATM code a secret, even from Susan, but the weight of not telling anyone starts to get to him. Elaine is confused by a man that she met at a party and who she talked to for ten minutes, but who remembers everything about the party except for her. Jerry does a promotional spot for a one legged man's appliance store but gets in trouble when the man thinks Jerry is making fun of him in the ad. Elaine gets dragged out to dinner with her boss and brings along Jerry and George. Elaine and Jerry are able to fake an exit and leaves George stuck with Peterman. George is forced to go to Peterman's house where he meets Peterman's dying mother. He tells his secret code to her right before her death. Meanwhile Kramer buys a police scanner.
The Cadillac (Part 1)
Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac after his last job pays especially well. Seeing Jerry's new found wealth, Elaine suddenly becomes interested in him again. George finds out that Elaine's friend could have set him up with Marisa Tomei, and George pursues the coffee date regardless of his engagement to Susan. Kramer starts a revenge scheme against the cable guy. Meanwhile, Jerry's father is accused by his friend of embezzling funds to pay for the new car.
The Wait Out
When George makes an off-hand comment that shakes a couple in a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in the wings for them to break- up and be viable, single catches again. George feels badly about causing a potential break-up so tries to get them to stay together. Elaine starts to drive again but almost makes Jerry sick when he rides as a passenger. Kramer starts to wear jeans again, albeit very tight ones that force him to walk funny, thus scaring a child that he is babysitting as he has to walk like Frankenstein to get around. George ends up getting a dose of his own medicine when the couple gets back together and make an off-hand comment about him and Susan, however when it causes Susan to have to think about their relationship, George thinks he may have found a way out of his engagement.
Kramer befriends a caddy who offers him both golf and life advice. After George locks his keys in his car while he is at Yankee Stadium, his bosses consider him for a promotion as it seems that he is always at work. Seeing his good luck, George decides to go up to the newly rebuilt cabin with Susan and asks Jerry and Kramer to take the fliers off of his car at the stadium. They decide to go get the car washed as well but crash it when they are distracted by a woman wearing a bra on top of her shirt. Ironically the bra was a gift from Elaine as the woman's an annoying ex-roommate and a candy bar heiress who never wore a bra. When George's boss sees the mangled car, he assumes the worst and tells the Costanzas that George is dead.
The Soup Nazi
The gang become obsessed with the delicious soup at a new soup stand but have to deal with the temperamental chef, unofficially known as The Soup Nazi, who enforces a strict set of eating rules on his customers. Elaine buys an armoire on the street and has Kramer guard it, only to have it stolen under his nose by a pair of not-so-scary thugs.
The Bottle Deposit (Part 1)
Kramer and Newman have a scheme to make money off of bottle returns by utilizing a mail truck half full of Mother's Day cards to carry all the bottles they find to the high paying state of Michigan. Elaine is charged with bidding for JFK's golf clubs by her boss at an auction but goes double over his limit when she finds herself bidding against her nemesis, the non-bra wearing, ex-roommate heiress. Elaine puts the clubs in Jerry's car and leaves them there while he takes it to the auto repair shop. The mechanic, unimpressed with Jerry's car upkeep, steals the car, with the clubs still in the trunk. Meanwhile, George has made some erroneous choices in carrying out a project for his boss as he only heard half of the instructions.
George becomes a favorite of his boss George Steinbrenner's when he gives him one of his eggplant calzones and Steinbrenner becomes obsessed with them. George runs into trouble when his calzone restaurant bans him from the premise for stealing from the tip jar, so he enlists Kramer, then Newman, to help him with the delivery. Kramer becomes fanatic about always wearing clothes straight out of the dryer but when he runs out of quarters he resorts to using the oven. Meanwhile, Elaine starts dating a man who never technically asks her out on dates and Jerry's new girlfriend has an uncanny knack for getting whatever she wants.
When Susan won't get rid of a doll who looks exactly like Mrs. Costanza, George finds that he can't perform in the bedroom anymore. Elaine is desperate to replace the Maestro's autographed picture of the Three Tenors that she ruined in Tuscany. Meanwhile, Jerry loses an important package before an appearance on The Charles Grodin Show because of his interaction with Susan's old roommate. Kramer challenges Mr. Costanza to a pool game when George's old bedroom is turned into a billiards room.
George meets Susan's cousin, who is pregnant, and scoffs at her choice of name for the unborn. He later becomes angry when the woman decides to use the name 'Seven', the name George has been planning to name his first born. Elaine injures her neck while pulling down a bike from the wall and promises it to anyone who can make her feel better. Kramer saves the day and expects the bike in return. Jerry is confused and concerned when he notices that his girlfriend wears the same outfit every time they go out together.
Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who meets her new high level of scrutiny aka 'sponge worthiness' though ironically he doesn't seem to be interested in 'doing everything'. Susan and George's parents have dinner for the first time but a missing loaf of marbled rye bread causes a rift. Jerry's attempt at replacing the missing rye bread is thwarted. Meanwhile, Kramer buys fifty cans of Beef-a-Reeno and ends up feeding one to a horse he is looking after.
George develops an uncontrollable wink when he is squirted in the eye with grapefruit juice from Jerry's new diet plan. His wink gives Kramer the incorrect go ahead to sell a birthday card signed by the entire Yankees team. Once Kramer learns of his mistake, he is forced to collect the birthday card from a young boy ill in the hospital. Meanwhile, Jerry's new grapefruit diet causes problems with his dating and Elaine starts dating a man from her wake-up service who unfortunately likes dogs.
The Pool Guy
Jerry tries to shake the overly friendly pool guy at his gym who seems to want to become a part of the gang. George is terrified that 'his worlds are colliding' when Susan and Elaine start becoming friends. Kramer's phone number is one digit away from the 'Moviefone' number so he starts helping people with movie times when they misdial.
George decides that he wants to postpone his engagement to Susan and has to figure out how to tell her. Meanwhile, having solved her dog barking problem, Elaine confesses in confidence to a neighborly rabbi that she is jealous that George is the first of their group to get engaged, but the rabbi doesn't waste time widely discussing her issue to anyone who will listen. Kramer and Jerry head to the movies, however Kramer tries to sneak in a gourmet coffee and proceeds to spill the hot coffee all over himself, prompting him to consider a lawsuit.
The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)
George is thrilled with his boss' response to his project as he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing, but later finds out it was because of the medication he was on. Kramer and Newman's trip to Michigan to deliver the mail and the bottles for deposit is interrupted when they spot Jerry's stolen car heading to Ohio. They chase the car and end up unloading the bottles and then Newman, to make the mail truck go faster. Kramer doesn't get Jerry's car back but does get the golf clubs back as the thief threw them at him during the pursuit. Meanwhile George's project gets the judgment it deserved after Steinbrenner gets a hold of it and sends George to a mental institution. Elaine finally delivers the golf clubs to her boss, albeit in poor condition, but Peterman only assumes that JFK was a temperamental golfer.
The Hot Tub
George picks up some verbal bad habits from a group of visiting baseball officials he is entertaining because his boss thinks he is cracking under the pressure of working in the big leagues. Elaine has a house guest, who is a runner, in town for the New York Marathon and somewhat famous for oversleeping and missing a race at the Olympics. Jerry becomes obsessed with making sure that the runner wakes up on time. Kramer buys a used hot tub from his friend but it wrecks havoc with his body temperature when the heat pump blows out. Elaine is told by her boss to write a piece on the Himalayan Walking Shoes but she develops writers block.
Realizing the error of their ways, George and Jerry make a pact to stop being so immature in their relationships with women. George goes out and proposes marriage to his old girlfriend Susan and after many hours of convincing she accepts. Jerry, on the other hand, ends up breaking up with his girlfriend and retreating to old habits. Elaine is being driven crazy by a neighborhood dog who barks all night so she conspires with Newman and Kramer to kidnap the dog. George realizes that he is now trapped.
The Wig Master
George's unhappiness with his engagement is compounded when Susan's friend, the Wig Master from the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", stays with him. Kramer borrows the back-up 'coat' and is mistaken for a pimp. George finds a cheap monthly parking lot but discovers why it might be so cheap when he finds a condom in his car. Meanwhile, Jerry has a disagreement with a store clerk regarding a jacket and ends up returning it in spite. The clerk develops a liking to Elaine and won't sell her the dress she likes until she sleeps with him.
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