Better Off Ted Episode Guides
Mess of a Salesman
Ted helps his fast talking brother, Billy, get a job selling lab equipment for one of Veridian's biggest suppliers, but Billy proceeds to sell Veridian more equipment than they do could ever use and corrupts Phil and Lem in the process. Meanwhile, a charity for girls that Veridian supports gives Veronica an award, but when she and Linda learn that the company actually gives very little of the money it raises to the charity, they set out to make things right.
Battle of the Bulbs
Lem flips out when his mother, a brilliant scientist who has always intimidated him, comes to visit and begins an affair with Dr. Bhamba. Meanwhile, Ted gets miffed when Linda suddenly gets all the credit after she makes a suggestion to improve on his prize project, a light bulb that burns forever.
The Long and Winding High Road
Ted insists on taking the high road after his nemesis at work comes up with almost the exact same project that Ted's team has been working on. However, Veronica will stop at nothing to get the upper hand, enlisting Linda and even little Rose's help in sabotaging the rival project.
Change We Can't Believe In
Ted struggles with an overly talkative security guard, Ryan. Ted tells Ryan he talks too much, which leads to Ryan quitting. Ted feels so guilty, he goes to Ryan's house to talk him back. Ryan's wife ends up going into labor and Ted is there from beginning to end... of course they never make to the hospital and Ted's car acts as the delivery room. Meanwhile, Veronica tries to work with Lem and Phil on fixing their faulty P.A. system. She becomes quickly annoyed with the two of them, however, and tries to change their dynamic. Phil and Lem aren't pleased.
The Great Repression
When a misunderstanding leads oddball Sheila to accuse both Ted and Linda of sexual harassment, Veronica comes up with a solution to avoid having them punished. She convinces Veridian to classify sexual harassment as a disease so anyone accused of it cannot be held responsible. However, when the employees get wind of the new rule, things start to get a little crazy in the office. Also, Phil and Lem try saving Chumley, a robot, from being recycled.
Lust in Translation
Ted romances a beautiful German executive who cannot speak a word of English. Veridian is developing a translation device for her company, enabling the two to communicate. The problem is, the voice of the device is Phil's, which ruins the mood for Ted.
The Lawyer, The Lemur and the Little Listener
When a wave of layoff hits Veridian and little Rose seems to have inside info because of a friend in her Hive playgroup, Veronica tries to pump her for information, much to Ted's disapproval. Meanwhile, Linda is elated to sell her first children's book -- until someone points out that her lead character, a lemur, is the spitting image of Phil -- and Lem starts a passionate affair with one of the company lawyers, only to find out that his paycheck is being docked for the "billable hours" he's spending with his new girlfriend.
The Impertence of Communicationizing
When a typo in a memo about inappropriate behavior at Veridian Dynamics orders employees to engage in offensive language, Ted tries to convince the company to correct the error, but not before the insults start flying. Meanwhile, Veronica worried that her promotion was the result of a typo on a memo meant for W. Palmer and not V. Palmer.
Beating a Dead Workforce
After an employee literally drops dead in the midst of Veridian's big push to finish a major project -- a machine that ironically will get people to sleep -- Ted starts to think they're being overworked. Veronica says the company doesn't want to ease up. Veronica even exploits the funeral to rally the employees to finish the project on time. Ted ends up defying Veridian's newly mandated work rules (including 14 hour days) and is applauded and followed by his coworkers.
It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal
When Veronica's sexy, magician boyfriend Mordor comes to town and she starts slacking off at work big time, Ted tries to interfere in her love life to get her back on track and tells her Mordor is having an affair. Meanwhile, Lem is perplexed when he is mysteriously given a bright red lab coat while everyone else has plain white ones. Though Lem and his lab mates are perplexed over the change, the red coat is merely Veronica's psychological ploy to increase productivity. Veronica ends her relationship with Mordor, but then takes him back. Ted, however, catches Mordor with yet another woman. Ted defends Veronica's honor, but loses the fight with Mordor. Nevertheless, Veronica ends her torrid affair, and regains her repsect for Ted.
Veridian Dynamics tries matchmaking employees based on their genetic compatibility in hopes of saving on health insurance bills from imperfectly bred children. Ted and Linda balk at this until they meet their supposed matches -- Greg for Linda and Danielle for Ted; they are instantly attracted despite themselves. Meanwhile, after Veronica finds out Lem is her perfect genetic match, she hounds him to donate to a sperm bank.
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