Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to fill even more than a few sentences about the hour-long list reading that is The ‘X Factor’ results show. Am I going to insult the performer? Am I going to remark for the 47,000th time how inane the group number is? Will I think of new ways to mock overgrown chin Steve Jones? It’s a constant struggle. But this week, I didn’t even have to think twice. All thanks to that pint-sized pile of poison that is Astro.

The sad thing is that I’d actually started to like Astro. His punkish audition was growing so distant a memory, washed away by his excellent perfor...

I’m back after a week off for my sister’s wedding, and before we get started I should fill you in on what I thought of last week.

The three performances I really liked were LeRoy Bell, Melanie Amaro and (surprisingly) Rachel Crow who I thought flashed a voice I hadn’t heard from her yet in the competition.

The three performances I thought deserved to be voted off were Stacy Francis, Chris Rene, and The Stereo Hogzz. Stacy just picked a terrible song, Chris is still struggling with pitch and The Stereo Hogzz were just a mess. Not surprisingly, they got voted off.

And now that we’re caught...