Elves Review
No holiday horror viewing would be complete without a little screening of the horrendously strange low-budget opus Elves. Starring Dan_Haggerty as a chain-smoking department-store Santa who does battle with a horny Nazi elf intent on spawning the Antichrist, this old VHS gem delivers the ridiculous goods hand over fist time and again. Whether he's brushing his teeth or sneaking around corners, good old Grizzly Adams goes nowhere for the first half of the film without puffing a lit cigarette and hefting around a carton of Camels (something that demands a drinking game, if ever there was one). As far as the ludicrous plot, it's played with a crazy deadpan delivery that's downright shocking given the script. The elf itself -- there is only one, by the way -- is one mess of a hand puppet, eliciting howls of delight each time the rubberized goof and his laughably fake limbs show up. Standing ovations to Borah_Silver as the Nazi grandpa for his pseudo Mel_Brooks accent and to writer/director Jeff_Mandel for delivering a movie that starts with an incantation to the gods of anti-Christmas. Brilliant lunacy for those that like a little schlock with their spiked eggnog. Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi
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