Damien Fahey Twitter
DamienFahey Followers: 40,596Location: LA
Bio: tv & radio host, stand-up & improv comedian. contributing writer for brian sack\'s \'the b.s. of a\'. writes fake news at http://www.damienfahey.tumblr.com
I've eaten four sandwiches alone in my car this week. 2012 is going great!
Posted at: Sun Feb 12 06:37:09
Whitney Houston. National Anthem. Brace yourself. http://t.co/68SCwnAK
Posted at: Sun Feb 12 02:53:31
Picasso would've been the world's worst police sketch artist.
Posted at: Fri Feb 10 19:35:13
You can tell California ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional because the bear on the state flag just grew a goatee and put on a leather vest.
Posted at: Tue Feb 07 19:15:33
Still totally vibin' off that Stamos Super Bowl yogurt commercial, guys. The yogurt game hasn't been rocked like this in years.
Posted at: Tue Feb 07 06:23:58
I only help old people with their bags on planes for the slight chance I might receive a standing ovation from the rest of the passengers.
Posted at: Mon Feb 06 20:06:26
I'm great at guessing which people entering Rite-Aid are headed to the "Stuff for Your Butt" aisle.
Posted at: Mon Feb 06 18:53:56
Still pumped about that yogurt commersh with Stamos! SO SICK!!!
Posted at: Mon Feb 06 04:21:47
Looking forward to next year when Budweiser introduces Bud Light Unobtainium.
Posted at: Mon Feb 06 00:06:32
Thank god for energy drinks. I can't imagine where America would find the strength to dick around on the Internet all day without them.
Posted at: Sun Feb 05 21:26:13
My buddy put me in charge of food for his SuperBowl party. Going to passive-aggressively ruin it by buying CVS-brand snacks.
Posted at: Sun Feb 05 18:20:38
I'm the guy who brings rice cakes to your SuperBowl party. I don't even give a shit.
Posted at: Sun Feb 05 06:01:03
I don't know what's more depressing, a sign twirler who's mailing it in or a sign twirler who's really into it.
Posted at: Sat Feb 04 21:35:35
Opera is just chubby people yelling.
Posted at: Fri Feb 03 18:27:14
Crazy to think the world's very first computer was built entirely out of raw oysters, glue and chunks of ham.
Posted at: Fri Feb 03 06:21:31
If someone steals my lunch from the fridge at work, I get on the office PA system and do the Liam Neeson speech from Taken.
Posted at: Thu Feb 02 19:57:30
If someone mentions Twitter, make a big deal about how you're not on twitter because you don't really "get twitter". People just LOVE that.
Posted at: Thu Feb 02 19:54:17
Happy Black History Month. I can say that because some of my best friends are history majors.
Posted at: Wed Feb 01 19:54:00
I was skeptical Apple was using child labor until my iPod arrived and engraved on it was, "Help! So hungry! Send Lunchables!"
Posted at: Wed Feb 01 18:55:10
You dudes gettin' your boners ready for the Go Daddy SuperBowl commercials or what?!?
Posted at: Tue Jan 31 16:47:07
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