Albert Brooks Twitter
AlbertBrooks Followers: 477,424Location: Los Angeles
Bio: Filmmaker, actor, author Albert Brooks. Originally joined Twitter to promote my book. Now trapped. Can\'t get out. Help. http://amzn.to/gUl6Fb
Don't normally celebrate holidays but tomorrow we're going to barbecue a mattress.
Posted at: Sat May 25 18:18:59
The little bit of conversation the local news anchors have before they sign off is my version of hell.
Posted at: Fri May 24 22:30:22
Really? I lost 5lbs.RT @stevemartintogo: Dear followers, don't click on tweets to me that claim I invented a diet. It's malicious spam.
Posted at: Fri May 24 17:41:22
I don't care that much about golf but that Sergio guy seems like an a-hole.
Posted at: Wed May 22 21:25:01
First Flickr now Tumblr. Yahoo should spent at least one billion on an e.
Posted at: Mon May 20 21:53:34
It was very emotional seeing David Beckham retire. One day I will have to watch a soccer game.
Posted at: Sun May 19 01:00:57
Am not allowed to RT compliments, but thx!RT @randyshulman: God, I so love you. (And your book was wonderful.)
Posted at: Sat May 18 02:42:54
God spoke to me today but only gave me one Powerball number.
Posted at: Sat May 18 00:43:19
When I was young I dreamed of a way to communicate meaningless shit for free. Thanks Twitter.
Posted at: Fri May 17 18:37:34
I dreamt I died and went to heaven and God didn't know any of the Kardashians.
Posted at: Thu May 16 13:52:42
I think my cell phone is tapped. The Justice Department just sent me an email suggesting a cheaper plan.
Posted at: Wed May 15 20:51:08
Damn it. I just lost a $20 bet. RT @howardstern: I'm declaring here, once and for all: I've never tasted my semen!
Posted at: Tue May 14 21:32:28
I.R.S. targeting people. Phones being hacked. I miss Nixon.
Posted at: Tue May 14 20:38:04
O.J. to seek new robbery trial. Hey O.J. hate to tell you but you're not in jail for robbery.
Posted at: Mon May 13 20:57:20
I think I'm being targeted by the IRS. Did anyone else have to pay taxes?
Posted at: Mon May 13 18:23:05
thx for posting.RT @tomhumberstone: nice piece by @videojon on the films of Albert Brooks http://t.co/qAoHBsqkHG
Posted at: Fri May 10 19:01:47
Maxim did not make my list of the 100 sexiest magazines.
Posted at: Fri May 10 03:29:27
Today's lesson: If you stab someone 30 times you're most likely going to be found guilty.
Posted at: Wed May 08 20:55:39
@canyonjim You're the first one I thought of when I read this. http://t.co/DHTHDrzCHT
Posted at: Wed May 08 19:04:10
So sad that F. Scott Fitzgerald died so young. One can only imagine the sequels he would have written.
Posted at: Wed May 08 18:52:05
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